How to be more outgoing

How to Be More Outgoing

If you’d like to be more confident, charismatic and extraverted, then I have great news. Your personality stems from your brain and that’s a flexible thing. You’re not ‘shy’ – you have a set of learned habits and reactions to certain situations. And what you learn, you can unlearn. There’s nothing in the rulebook that says you can’t learn to be more outgoing.

There’s a reason why you aren’t as socially daring as you might like. It boils down to a fascinating property of the human brain:

Brains are funny.

And by funny, I mean stupid.


Parties are fun. I don’t care if you’re an introvert – they’re still fun. Unless you hang out with the wrong people. That’s a different problem.

There’s a social gathering and you don’t feel like going. But you have to make an appearance, so you drag yourself there.

Ten minutes later, you’re having the time of your life.

It doesn’t always work out this way, but it often does.

What causes this? Well, it’s a complex, personal thing. But I will say that, often, it’s our minds trying to protect us.

Your mind is a capable guardian but sometimes it needs a little… correcting.

Yes, socialising sometimes has left you exhausted. Yes, connecting with people opens you to ridicule. And yes, these are things worth avoiding. I don’t disagree with your inner mind on this.

But its so-called solution – to shut down all social interaction – isn’t as good as the other solutions. When you have the powers of heightened intuition, incredible charisma and quick thinking, who needs to fear social interactions?

Your mind sometimes thinks it needs to. Does this make them naïve or wise?

Well, which way is the wind blowing?

In general, your mind is excellent at protecting you. Part of you constantly scans the world for physical danger. Another part searches for social dangers – ridicule, threats to your status, that sort of thing. These parts of you learn from your experiences. If you learn that being outgoing is too risky, then you’re less likely to do it.

Unlearning things like this is easier than you think.

If you can imagine wooing a crowd of strangers, then you know how to do it. On some level you think, “If I smile like this and gesture like that, they’ll go weak at the knees.” But on the same level, you also think, “But I’d better not.”

You can change that, if you want to. Your inner guardian can learn how to protect you from threats, not opportunities. It’s the same process as learning anything else – know what you want, figure out how to do it and practice.

There’s a shortcut, though. If you want to unlearn the old habits and really embrace a bolder personality, then hypnosis is like your brain going under the knife. A few snips and the unwanted thoughts dissolve. It operates at the level of your inner mind, speaking a language it understands.

A new world is waiting for you. It’s on the other side of the moment where you turn your focus inwards.

Check out how:

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