One of the classic – dare I say, cliché – self-improvement tips is:
“Don’t compare yourself to others!”
The logic being that you’ll only make yourself miserable.
We often compare ourselves to people at the top of their field, seeing only their successes, not the road behind them.
Or we look at someone smarter, more attractive or more confident than us, thinking, gosh, there but for the curse of the Devil go I…
When we look at people, we tend to oversimplify them. We have to. Humans are part of our world and we have to manipulate, appease and seduce them in order to get by. But humans are also too complicated to model accurately, so we approximate.
In other words, we might only see little bits of someone else’s life.
And if all they show are the good bits, that’s all we see.
So why compare yourself to something misleading and wrong?
I’ll tell you why:
It’s an excellent source of learning.
Learn what you admire in others and you learn what you need.
Even if what you see is fake.
You can take their mask and make it real for you.
Envy is a great tool. Sure, it can consume you – like any tool, you have to use it right. When you use it as a source of information, not a source of resentment, it becomes a handy thing.
The more you resent folk, the more powerful you become.
It’s an intriguing idea and it goes against what most folk will teach you. They’ll tell you to appreciate what you have, not fixate on others.
I say that’s a false dichotomy. You can, and should, do both.
But how, though?
How exactly do you use envy and comparisons like this?
I’m glad you asked, pendo. Because in Unlock the Vault – module 16 of 19 in Monster Mind Edukaré – I give you simple, step-by-step instructions on how to do that.
It might not be easy.
For some of you, it won’t be quick.
If those are deal-breakers, then you want to stay well clear of this long and in-depth program: