What’s the Deal with the Confidence Off-Switch?

Confidence is a great thing to have.

In fact, that’s understating it.

It’s amazing for your career, whether you’re climbing the ladder or building an empire.

And your social life. Quality people like hanging out with confident folk.

Not to mention your love life. If the meek inherit the earth, you know they won’t find their soulmates there.

None of that is shocking to you, I’m sure.

Though it does raise a question:

If it’s so useful is so many different ways… why don’t you have high confidence all the time?

How could your own mind sabotage you with anxiety, the jitters and feelings of unworthiness?

What’s the point of turning confidence off?

The answer is simple:

You have to earn confidence.

That might sound like I’m being mystical. It’s a common trope in religion and fantasy that you can only gain powerful magic by giving up something. If you want clarity of mind, then fast. If you want wisdom, then cloister yourself from the world.

But that’s not what’s happening here.

It’s not that you need to sacrifice something great in order to score more confidence.

It’s that unearned confidence is dangerous.

Imagine a clumsy swordsman, bragging about his skill. How long would it take for him to attract a challenger?

Or a more contemporary example: if you’ve worked in an office, I’m sure you knew someone who talked a big game but couldn’t deliver. If they got ‘normal’ projects, they’d do well. But they brag so hard they get given something they can’t handle, then everyone loses.

And to go uncontemporary… a hunter-gatherer needs to know their place in the tribe. Anyone who fakes high status is gonna get a pummelling from the actual high-status hunters.

Confidence attracts attention. If you can back that up with action, great. If not, it’s less a spotlight and more a volcano.

But if you think I’m telling you to be awkward and meek here, I’m not.

Because chances are, you aren’t acting too confident for your abilities.

Most folk go the other way and act not confident enough.

The truth is, you’re amazing. I don’t care who you are, how young or old you are, how ugly, slow or uncoordinated you think you are:

You are your harshest critic.

You’re far better than you give yourself credit for.

Which is where confidence affirmations come in handy. Simply by raising your confidence to the level you deserve, you can change everything.

The moment you let yourself be kind to yourself, you see just how much confidence you’re entitled to.

From there, it becomes easier to tell yourself every day you’re worth it.

Check out Affirmation Bivouac – my tough, ruthless and effective guide to affirmations – here:


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