In Conversation Hacker – which is in the midst of a sale – I talk about something I call the architecture of conversations.
Every building is unique. Each serves a purpose, and is an expression of creativity meeting practicality. Even so, buildings follow rules – from building ordinances to the laws of physics.
Conversations are the same way.
Each is a unique expression, and each follows rules.
Break the rules and the conversation quickly falls apart.
This applies to everything. Whether you’re catching up with mates or chatting with a therapist, the architecture sits invisibly in the background.
The best therapists know about the structure of conversations. Either instinctively, through training or through hard-won lessons, they know the rules and how to follow them.
Not all of them do, though.
That’s how some therapy sessions become awkward, stilted and unnatural.
And therefore not exactly therapeutic.
On the other hand, you can have a drink with your best mate, talk through the same issues and walk away transformed.
This isn’t advice or a recommendation – simply a description of what sometimes happens.
What is a recommendation, though – whether you’re a therapist or not – is to understand the difference. To know what makes some conversations restorative and others frustrating.
And by a fun coincidence, Conversation Hacker holds all those answers. It explains not only what causes these differences, but includes a few exercises on how to address that.
How to make your conversations therapeutic, whether you’re in your office or at a pub.
If you like to help folk work through their problems, this is the fly’s thighs.
Here’s the link:
P.S. I’m running a flash sale on Conversation Hacker. Over 72 hours, you can download it for 55% off. Use the code SMALLTALK at the checkout.