When holding yourself back is actually a hug

When holding yourself back is actually a hug

Hesitation shows up in the strangest places. You know you want something. Maybe you need it. You do your research and figure out how.

Then when it comes time to make the decision…


Something holds you back.

This is a reason why people have jobs they hate.

Or relationships that should have ended a long time ago.

The need for a fresh start can be overwhelmingly obvious… and difficult to act on at the same time.

Wouldn’t it be nice to be more decisive? Wouldn’t it be better to not have to wrestle yourself when you want to take action?

Well… maybe it wouldn’t.

Hesitation serves a purpose – a signal from your unconscious that something is unresolved.

What if every time you hold yourself back, you’re really giving yourself a hug? You’re not fighting yourself – you care about yourself.

How much would that change things for you?

Because your mind isn’t out to get you. After all, you and your mind want the same things.

You just have different ideas on how to get them.

Let’s say you want to quit your job but can’t quite manage to do it. Ask yourself, what would quitting do for you?

You could find a better job… which might fulfil you… which leaves you free from the rat race.

And if you stayed? What would that do for you?

It’s stable and secure… which means a reliable paycheck… which gives you the freedom to travel.

There you have it – both quitting and staying get you what you want: freedom.

“But William,” you might say, “that doesn’t help me. My dilemma is far more complicated!”

Yeah, probably. This was just a toy example.

But I know this:

Your dilemma is not too complicated for your unconscious to figure out. After all, where do you think the dilemma comes from?

And how do you know you even have a dilemma?

If you recognise a problem in your life, it means you already hold the answer. Not consciously, perhaps, but it’s there.

Which means if you run through the dilemma in the trance state, asking what each half really wants for you, you’ll find they’re on the same page.

Your mind is never confused about what it wants, merely how to get it.

And once your mind knows you’re after the same thing, hesitation disappears.

In hypnosis, we call this a parts conflict. Different parts of you seemingly want different things. The solution is to unite the parts in trance.

The process can be as easy as asking each part what it really wants… then asking why it really wants that.

But you can’t consciously interfere, though. So the best way is to run through this as a self-hypnosis exercise.

How do you hypnotise yourself?

And how to you remain conscious enough to follow this process?

Great questions.

For great answers, grab a copy of my self-hypnosis training guide here:


Photo by Sara Dubler on Unsplash

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