The kitchen window solution

Parents today face a paradox.

They want their children to grow up strong, resourceful, resilient and independent.

They also want to watch over them and protect them.

Both are worthy goals.

But you can pursue one at the expense of the other. And many parents default to the ‘protection’ style.

Take that to its extreme and you have helicopter parenting.

You want your child to be safe now and you want them to be strong. What do you choose when those are at odds?

You take a step back and choose both.

It reminds me a story a dear friend told me once:

When she was not yet a teenager, she would go outside and play in the woods near her house. She and her friends would get together and do what young people do. They’d pretend, chase, run, explore, tease, fight and come together.

No adults in sight – they were free to just be kids.

She said there was one time where she had a bad fall. The pain was one thing but what stood out at the time was her surprise. Her mother was right there to help her, without anyone having to go and fetch her.

As an adult, she knew what had happened.

Her kitchen window overlooked the woods. Her mother would be there, doing the dishes, baking, reading, all while keeping an eye on all the kids.

They were free to be themselves – to explore who they were as individuals.

But they didn’t know someone was watching over them, keeping them save.

Safety and freedom.

Yes, you can have both – and that’s a timely reminder these days, when the people pretending to be experts insist you make a trade off.

It goes deeper than that.

When you have to choose between A and B, there’s always a way to have both.

It might not be easy.

It might not even be worth it, once you think it through.

But there will always be people forcing false dichotomies on you.

“If you don’t buy my product, you hate freedom!”

“If you vote for that candidate, you support racism!”

That sort of thing.

It’s always nonsense.

And it always stems from the conscious mind.

The unconscious mind thinks in parallel. That’s how hypocrisy happens – where someone can legitimately swear they hate drama… all while being the main source of drama.

It’s also how genius works – how someone can merge to ideas that have never merged in human history.

In retrospect, folks say it was obvious.

At the time, only one person thought of it.

And they thought of it by thinking in parallel.

Thinking unconsciously.

That’s why hypnosis is such a powerful tool – it unleashes more of this thinking style in your mind.

You can have both A and B, no matter what those happen to be.

If you want to experience it now, sign up for the Neural Reset:

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