Get your ugly hypnosis content here

Get your ugly hypnosis content here

A journalist once asked the poet Carl Sandberg what the ugliest word in the English language is. Apparently he considered the question deeply, rolling it around in his mind. After a few moments, he said that the ugliest word is:


Well, I’m not going to argue. I’m many things, but I’m no poet.

So here we go.

I record ugly audios that’ll help everything from sleep to self-confidence. These hideous files use hypnosis to shift loose the blockages in your mind. With disciplined listening, they can transform everything from the convenience of your home or commute.

They are repulsively available to Awakened Thought subscribers, though.

The library of these disgusting hypnotic audios grows each month. Loyal subscribers can even request audios on specific topics. It’s the best way to ensure you get the most out of the subscription.

That’s not all, though. They also get vomit-inducing newsletters, full of practical tips, scientific research and words that subtly bypass whatever holds you back.

And they get horrendous bonuses – free gross material and disagreeable discount codes for other products. These discounts are great – they’re so good, most months pay for themselves.

It may be unpleasant to look at, but it can be yours within minutes.

All you need to do is read this soothing, pleasing on the eyes sales letter:

The easiest way to fix your weird issue

The easiest way to fix your weird issue

“Everyone is unique” is another way of saying “everyone is tough to market to”. If you’re the only one with a problem, don’t expect to find a convenient solution.

At least, you’d think that’s the case…

People approach hypnotists with the strangest issues sometimes. I’m not poking fun of anyone here. Pain is pain, no matter what form it takes. But if you think you’ve heard everything…

“I write and post threatening letters to the Russian government in my sleep.”

“When I eat citrus, I scratch my left eyebrow til it bleeds.”

“My hand gets stuck to the steering wheel when I drive south in spring rain.”

These questions often lead to, “is there a hypnosis product that’ll resolve my issue?”

Sorry, folks. Your issues are too weird. It’s not that they’re not easy to resolve with hypnosis, it’s more that you’re a market of one. Unless you can afford property in Sydney or San Francisco, you by yourself are not a lucrative market.

But not all is lost. You can hire a hypnotist to work through your problem. When seeing clients, everyone is a market of one. They’ll get to the root of your thing, or at least make it more manageable.

It’ll cost you, though. That’s why you were asking about products – you were hoping for a nice, cheap, easy dose of hypnosis to set you right, right?

Once more, hope shines eternal.

Sure, you could pay mega bucks to see a professional.


You could pay moderate bucks to learn self-hypnosis. Once you know how it works, then it doesn’t matter what your issue is. After all, you’re more than happy to see you as a client. You’ll get the best rates, and you won’t quit til it’s finished.

And it future-proofs you against other weird issues showing their ugly mugs.

It’s the help you need at a fraction of the cost – in other words, it’s the smart play.

Read some of the benefits here:

Dammit, it turns out I am going to talk about Kavanaugh

Have you ever seen a political argument where both sides were wrong? I sure hope so – if not, think about listening to a broader range of views. Politics is the mind killer, so there’s been a lot of stupidity around for the last… oh, forever.

I’ve avoided the Kavanaugh news as best I could, like how I avoid all news. You have the choice between being well informed and being smart. It should be the easiest choice in the world, but I suppose the media has our respect for some reason.

I mean, I’m not even American. It couldn’t be less relevant to me. “But it’s a sign of the problems with modern Western culture!” Sure, and so are a thousand other things. I’m not going to bark, either in Kavanaugh’s defence or against him, just because the media said so.

Sexual assault is bad and should be punished. Is there anything else I could say that would help? Is there anything I can do that will serve justice?


All right, then, I’ll be over here, trying to build something.

Like I say, I avoid short spins of the news cycle. I spent years building something resembling peace of mind – I’m not about to trade that for some cheap, ad-riddled thrills.

But then…

Well, they had to drag hypnosis into it.

Fine. I’ll wade into this to explain why you’re all wrong.

Continue reading “Dammit, it turns out I am going to talk about Kavanaugh”

Who sees the colour of dog food?

Who sees the colour of dog food?

Pet food distributers aren’t dumb. Have a look at dog food advertisements and you’ll see what I mean. They have pictures of happy dogs, smiling dogs, healthy dogs…

Someone off the street might think they design the food to appeal to canines. They don’t. Dogs are a factor, sure, but they’re not the main one.

After all, dogs don’t buy dog food. Their humans do.

Those pictures of happy dogs aren’t about the pet at all. They’re about how the owner will feel, having wisely provided this joyful meal.

Not that you need convincing on this obvious point, but consider that dog food contains colouring agents. Seeing as how dogs are colour blind, it ain’t in there for them.

Marketers follow the money. They’d never make the mistake of marketing to the dogs.

This is a great analogy for how people mess up personal development.

Continue reading “Who sees the colour of dog food?”

Not just another thing for you to do

Not just another thing for you to do

How much do you think you need to do each day? There are billions of people to forge relationships with. There are trillions of hobbies, exercises and opportunities out there. Go sample them all – you won’t find your passion until you do.

And don’t forget to take time for yourself.

It’s like those morning programs – you know the ones I mean. A panel of people interview whoever they can find, spruiking the next latest fad. Some of those fads are even worthwhile. The problem is that there’s just so many of them.

I love that parody of those shows that some of my fellow Aussies have seen. The guest introduces them to night gardening, which is just like regular gardening only you can’t see anything.

The session ends with one of the hosts saying, “there, another f**king thing for you to f**king do.”

That line cracks me up every time. Sure, there’s more that you could be doing… but you can’t do most of it. Keep cramming things into your life and something’s gonna give.

Unless, of course, you choose your projects wisely.

Continue reading “Not just another thing for you to do”

How I would ruin Venom

How I would ruin Venom

I caught a new trailer for Venom today. It shows Eddie Brock trying to use meditation to control Venom – his evil alien symbiote. He tries it, but “it doesn’t work”.

It reminds me of a couple of things. One is a quote whose source I can’t find. I must have read it on social media or something. It goes:

“Piano playing doesn’t work. I tried it for a few hours and nothing happened.”

Isn’t Eddie supposed to be a journalist? You’d think he’d learn a little tenacity from a job like that…

The other thing it reminds me of is Marvel’s master of meditation. If the two of them met, maybe Venom’s host could learn a thing or two about managing the darkness.

No, I’m not talking about Danny Rand. For a Buddhist warrior monk, the Immortal Iron Fist is not all that zen.

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Learn the unlearnable from people who won’t teach you

Learn the unlearnable from people who won’t teach you

Take a list of the most valuable skills a 21st century person should have. There’ll be technical stuff on there, like decent programming and project management stuff. I leave those for better-qualified folk to talk about, because I’m focused on the rest.

Most of the list would be so-called soft skills. Things like emotional intelligence, public speaking, innovation and leadership. It might also include courage, resilience and other personality traits.

This juicy stuff elevates the stellar above the merely good.

Can you learn these? Sure. There are plenty of online courses and workshops out there. The quality varies though, so I hope you find a good one.

Or you could try it a different way.

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The problem with personal development

The problem with personal development

If there’s one thing yours truly loves, it’s personal development. Sometimes I’m satisfied, often I’m happy, but I’m always hungry for more.

I know that the person I’ll be in six years (or six months) is so incredible that I can’t wait to meet him.

I’ve spend thousands and travelled across the world for the promise of self-improvement.

What I’m saying is that I’m a fan.

And, my friend, I love studying. When it’s the right material presented the right way, I enjoy it. It’s a chore for most people, but it’s how I relax.

So you might wonder how many personal development courses I’m doing right now. And maybe I have some recommendations?

Well, it depends on what you mean by that. I’m learning real, concrete skills in my spare time. But if we limit the list to courses promising to double your brainpower, confidence, income…?

That’s easy.

I’m learning zero of them.

And there’s a darn good reason why I avoid these courses like they’re radioactive:

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How to bypass meditation roadblocks

How to bypass meditation roadblocks

Take a typical meditation class. If you expect the same people to show up on the last day as the first, you’ll be disappointed.

Some of the learners will bounce straight away. They’ll feel awkward, stupid or embarrassed for even considering meditation. After turning up once, they’ll say it’s not for them and never come back.

People who show up for the second class aren’t out of the danger zone. Some will come back a few times. Maybe they improve a little. Maybe they think they haven’t improved at all. Either way, they haul their butts off the comfy cushions, never to grace them again.

Others stick with it for a while, get bored and give up. Just like they give up on everything else.

A small cohort knows what meditation can do for them. They put the work in. Some days they struggle, and they know that’s part of the process. They turn up early, ask questions and practice during the week.

These people will stick around… right?

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Meditation is my meditation

Meditation is my meditation

The funny thing about having a Google alert for ‘meditation’ is I hear about art. This painting is a meditation on compassion; that poem is a meditation on modern loneliness. Art is never just art and it doesn’t just carry a message. It’s always “a meditation” on something.

When you see this every day, it starts becoming a little pretentious.

(Hard to believe, I know.)

Amazing art can explore, expose, reflect, magnify, distort, enhance and consume. For the artist, I have no doubt that creating the piece was a meditative experience. If a painter says their latest work is a meditation on emptiness, I will gladly spend all night picking their brain about that.

But when every review, article, discussion and forum posts describes it as a meditation… well, that’s true emptiness right there.

It reminds me of when people say that exercise is their meditation. Like the artistic process, I can see how this is meditative. For some people, it’s all struggle and effort. For others, these are the moments they find peace.

Art, exercise and a hundred other things can be meditative.

But there’s a hierarchy to these things.

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