If so, you’re not alone.
Many introverts do, for all the usual reasons. It’s a boring, awkward, faux pas-riddled slog with dull, tedious people.
And many extraverts do too. Extraverts like talking with folk and Small Talk barely seems to qualify.
No one cares about your thoughts on the weather.
And everyone knows that no one cares.
Maybe the lockdown is your paradise, free from these inane conversations. Even if that’s true, I promise you Small Talk is waiting for you on the other side of all this.
So why do we suffer through this nonsense ritual?
Is it some outdated tradition from the Victorian era we haven’t managed to shake?
I used to hate Small Talk too. Yes, even after reading plenty of guides, tips, strategies and tactics on how to navigate it.
I like ideas – the more surprising, interesting and mind-expanding, the better. Those never came up in Small Talk, so it was hard to apply anything I read.
Until I learned what Small Talk is for.
It’s not about exchanging information.
It’s not about talking about the local sporting team.
What is it?
It’s nothing short of a test, baked into our neurology from back in our hunter-gatherer days.
Small Talk serves a real and vital purpose. You can’t skip it and get to the “good stuff” because it is the good stuff.
And once I understood what Small Talk does, not only did I become better at it, I started to like it too.
Sure, I still feel awkward with strangers sometimes.
Even when I do, I remember what Small Talk is aiming to do and find some way of doing it.
No need to talk about the weather if you don’t want.
No need to memorise specific questions and answers like you’re going for a job interview.
Understand Small Talk and you can use it.
What’s Small Talk for?
I have a whole chapter on that in Conversation Hacker. Sure, it includes some exercises in it. You could even call these “tactics”. But the tactics stem from the principles.
Master the principles of Small Talk and everything flows naturally.
You can learn how here:
P.S. I’m running a flash sale on Conversation Hacker. Over 72 hours, you can download it for 55% off. Use the code SMALLTALK at the checkout.