If you want to feel more kindness towards others, there are two common approaches:
The first is to think of folk you like and who are kind to you. Meditate and reflect on them, and really savour the feeling of kindness.
The second is much tougher, but the gains are so much more.
Take people you hate. Your bullies, your rivals, even real monsters like dictators and spree shooters. Practice kindness and forgiveness towards them.
Like I say, that second one is tough.
Approach it the wrong way and you can warp your own emotions. Like lifting weights at the gym, you can do real harm by doing it the wrong way.
Do it right, though?
You can become virtually indestructible.
How do you do it right?
I (or someone more qualified on metta meditation) could write a whole book on that.
But I did outline a safe and effective protocol in Conversation Hacker. It’s Exercise 3 (pg8) and it’s robust enough to handle the challenging folk in our day-to-day lives.
If you find yourself getting frustrated with folks online, this is perfect. And once everyone hits the roads again, bad drivers don’t have to bug you.
Feeling friendly, even in just the privacy of your mind, towards folk like this is amazing for your mental health.
More appropriately for the topic – it makes you an amazing conversationalist.
When you can be friendly towards everyone, it opens up new opportunities for incredible interactions. People who seem rude can become fascinating and open.
And, hey, maybe they’re cranky because they’re lonely. Instead of adding to the woes of the world, you could ease some of it.
If you think back over your own life, you’ll recognise just how powerful the right conversation can be.
That’s how Conversation Hacker can make you a real force for good in the world.
And a much happier, saner person, too.
To make this offer even more enticing, I’m running a 3-day sale. You can get Conversation Hacker – my guide to the best conversations of your life – at a tasty discount.
Three days isn’t much time, I know – and we’re already most of the way through it.
But I’m eager for you to get started with this now. Having deeper connections, now and later, might be all you need to come through this.
It does mean procrastinators are out of luck, though, as there are no extensions on this.
Here’s the link:
P.S. I’m running a flash sale on Conversation Hacker. For the next short while, you can download it for 55% off. Use the code SMALLTALK at the checkout.