If you want to remove obstacles and create new resources in your mind, you’re my kind of person.
You’re exactly why I’ve sold mind training programs through my site for… oh, a few years now.
But there’s something that can work even better.
Something that puts you firmly in the driver’s seat, allowing you to control exactly what you get out of it.
Something with accountability built tightly in.
And it’s something that works much faster.
That’s not to say my digital mind training products aren’t amazing. It’s just sometimes it helps to have someone there, guiding you through it all.
Because before now, I’ve seen folk one on one or in small groups. But unless you’re one of my close friends, that’s not an opportunity you could take advantage of.
That’s all changing, pendo.
I’m now seeing clients in my home office. If you’d like to take advantage of this, follow this link, read through the details (carefully) and make a booking:
By now, most folk who made a resolution for 2020 have given up on it by now. We’re coming into late February, where the gyms become empty and purveyors of junk food rub their greasy, sticky hands together with glee.
If you’re still sticking to your resolution, congratulations. That puts you in a precious minority.
But you’re not out of the woods yet. Whatever you changed is becoming a habit by now, so the hard part’s over… but there are no guarantees here. You can be undoing the change just as easily as you made it in the first place.
The problem with resolutions runs deep.
Most take too much energy or willpower, like constantly denying yourself the food you want.
And most aren’t fun. Sure, plenty of folk like exercise and you can probably learn to like it too. But if you already liked it, you probably wouldn’t have made that your resolution.
What if there was a resolution you could have made that was fun…
That transforms your life, from your work success to dating to creating new friendships…
… and that didn’t take much extra time or effort? In fact, for some of you, it will save you effort by making something simpler for you.
This thing it simplifies is something you do all the time – and it’s the key to a lot of happiness and success.
The resolution you could have made…
And still can, right now…
… is have better conversations with folk.
Deep, meaningful interactions do wonders for your career, whether you’re a solopreneur or working for a big organisation.
It’s vital to social success, from getting along with family to cultivating romance.
More than that, they make life richly satisfying.
The thing is, conversations are supposed to be natural. The more you think about what you’re saying, the less engaging you become. That means you’re either naturally good at talking with folk… or not.
Wrong, pendo. You can learn this. Even better, you can learn a simple framework you keep at the back of your mind, freeing you up to lose yourself in the moment. With my Conversation Hacker program, you learn the architecture of conversations – something you can apply to every deep and meaningful talk, every business meeting and every coffee you order.
You can practice this every day.
It’s fun, it’s satisfying and it pays off for you.
And you can learn how to do all that, right here:
It’s a classic kids’ game: pretend the floor is lava and you can’t stand on it.
Depending on the density and integrity of your furniture, it can be a lot of fun. Hopping from the couch to the coffee table, never daring to touch the ground…
(Or get caught by your guardians…)
That’s one of the games we shouldn’t have grown out of. Getting ready each morning would be much more fun if you had to throw pillows across the room to make a stepping stone bridge.
It’s a shame because, as we grow up, we start playing that game by different rules.
Instead of the floor being lava, certain thoughts became toxic.
You weren’t allowed to think them.
You weren’t even allowed to admit they’re there.
And I’m not talking about social censorship either, although that doesn’t help. It’s hard to think certain thoughts when everyone, from your friends to popular culture, says it’s wrong.
I’m talking about something deeper.
These are thoughts so buried you’ve forgotten they’re still there. But they haven’t forgotten you. Like scar tissue forming around a wound, your mind develops defences against thoughts like this.
What are these thoughts?
Freud would tell you they’re all dark, violent, savage impulses. Maybe some of them are. In my experience, most are thoughts or memories too painful to face.
So you don’t face them.
But the pain still lingers.
You can improve and grow a lot as a person without ever touching this stuff. The truly superhuman folk you know – the ones with intense charisma, deep focus and a genuine love for other people – have faced these thoughts one way or another.
I won’t teach you how to do the same.
But I will prep your mind so it’s strong enough to handle it when you do.
Because the funny this is once you’re strong enough to face it, it arises on its own. Better that than forcing it before you’re ready.
So get prepping now and you might just clear the lava from your mind.
Here’s the link:
I’m going to describe a style of meditation and I’m going to ask to you defer judgement. It might sound a little out there. Maybe it’s pure nonsense. But until we reach the end and you have all the facts, hold back your scoffs.
The small irony here is the better you are at meditating, the better you are at observing without judgement. If you’re not an experienced meditator already, maybe pretend you’re one for the next few minutes.
All right, on with the kookiness.
Many meditation practices involve focusing on a particular colour. The seven chakras in Hinduism, for example, align with the colours of the rainbow. Taoism has five colours – red, green, white, gold, purple – corresponding to five qualities of the world, our bodies and our minds.
Think on these colours, these practices say. Draw them into your being. Let them enhance you in fascinating ways.
If you’re a sceptical individual who likes meditation only because science has given it a stamp of approval, that might be a little too much to swallow.
I can’t argue.
But consider this…
You already know the colour blue has a profound effect on the brain. I hope you have blue blocking apps on your computers and phones – otherwise watching the bright, daytime sky while it’s dark out might send your body clock into a spin.
And red influences the brain. It scares the peanuts out of the monkeys in us. When the sky was red – that is, as sunset fades into darkness – our ancestors were at their most vulnerable. That’s why it’s hard to relax in a red room.
So if blue and red change our bodies and brains, what about the other colours?
Feel free to try it and let me know how you go.
Maybe it’ll work because, on a genetic level, we respond to colours.
Maybe it’ll work because you think it should. Don’t worry, there’s no such thing as placebo meditation. If you think it’s working, it is.
Maybe it won’t do anything more than your normal session. Since all sessions are good sessions, that’s not a problem.
Either way, you won’t find this technique in my meditation guide, Your Mind Inside – aka module 15 of 19 in Monster Mind Edukaré. I only included stuff I know works.
And what an interesting list that turned out to be, which includes torture, bullying and triggering psychotic episodes.
But not much about colours.
You can get it here:
A problem with self-improvement is the age-old problem of language.
Folk use the same term to describe different things.
Because if you want to take a decent life and make it awesome, that’s one thing. It’s easy to do and the stakes are relatively low. If you mess up for a week, you can always catch up.
But if you’re in the pits, it can be a different kettle of fish.
Maybe exercising regularly will pull you out.
Maybe a gratitude journal will do the trick.
You wouldn’t be the first person to find these work wonders.
Or maybe you could use medical intervention. You wouldn’t be the first person to try everything and find that works best.
Either way, falling off your routine for a week has more dramatic consequences.
Anyway, the point is:
Different challenges require different solutions.
Take someone with their manure together and push them to be better – they’ll probably thrive. The same pressure could make someone else collapse.
You see that if you know where to look. Someone hears the reason they’re suffering is they don’t do A. Then they hear they need therapeutic practice B. It works through the whole alphabet pretty quickly. And then it becomes a whole song and dance. There’s the pressure to do more than what they’ve done. There’s the shaming because they obviously didn’t do it right.
This is how the culture around self-improvement can turn pretty toxic.
It can fill up with folk who are smug and judgemental, who victim-shame and think whatever worked for them must work for everyone.
This attitude can amplify all the problems self-improvement solves.
So I’m gonna go real soft on the pitch here – because if you can relate, the last thing you need is yet-another sales letter blaming you for not handing over your money.
My book, Three-Score Navike, contains 60 habits that generally help folk improve their lives.
You can begin any of them this week, if not today.
Maybe some of them will help you.
But with 60 simple, proven techniques in your arsenal, the odds are stacked in your favour.
Plus it’s affordable and comes with a money-back guarantee.
If that’s not your speed, that’s cool.
If you’d like to give it a whirl, what’s the harm?
Here’s your link:
Most of the time, I loving writing. But, hey, I’m not a machine. Sometimes, I just don’t have it in me.
Like when I sat down to write this.
It was basically the last thing I wanted to do.
A few minutes before I started typing, I was feeling tired, flat and uninspired.
Then I did the obvious thing:
I tapped the back of my hand three times.
Now I can feel the inspiration and creativity rising inside of me. The words are starting to flow easily and quickly.
I’m not forcing myself anymore. Now, I want to do this. In fact, not a lot would stop me from sitting here and getting a week’s worth of writing done in one sitting.
All that… from tapping my hand?
Do I know some secret acupuncture technique for unblocking creative flow?
Maybe there’s a chakra point or a nerve ganglia there or something…
Hey, maybe there is. Give it a go – three taps to the back of your left hand.
If it works, great.
If not, it’s because I skipped a few steps.
Steps that I explain in module 5 of 19 in Monster Mind Edukaré – my self-paced (but months long, at least) mind training program.
Take any mental state you want to experience.
Use this module to set up a trigger.
And you can feel it on demand, mere seconds from now.
Sure, it takes a little work to set up.
But it pays for itself, and then some.
Because if you can choose to feel enthusiastic about every task, no matter how boring, how much more can you get done?
And how much happier will you be?
There’s more that you can have on top of enthusiasm and creativity – and you can get it all.
Learn how to do that, and a whole lot more, right here:
Yesterday, I talked about ruts.
How being in one is like being trapped.
It’s a subtle prison, where everything looks normal except it’s all a little greyer. There’s nothing interesting or exciting because it’s all the same stuff you’ve seen before.
A normal response – indeed, a healthy one – is to find yourself craving excitement. Maybe even craving adventure. You just want to jump in the car, pick a direction and drive.
There’s too much clutter back here.
You want to rise above it all and be free.
So maybe you do just that. You take some time off, buy a plane ticket and head for adventure.
Maybe you find what you need out there.
Perhaps your trip is a refreshing break from it all… but the rut is still here, waiting for you when you return.
Or you might even take the rut with you.
Then again, maybe you couldn’t even escape in the first place. If you have commitments here – family, work or whatever – then maybe that’s an idle fantasy.
Speaking of fantasy, though…
There are several ways you can use your mind to escape.
I don’t mean daydreaming when you should be working.
I mean using the power of your mind to break free of the traps bolting you in place.
This is what folk seek – consciously or unconsciously – when they indulge in “bad” behaviour. Gambling, emotional eating, drugs, even more ‘normal’ things like bingeing TV shows and playing video games.
Except those are distractions.
Like the exciting holiday, the rut remains, waiting for you to return.
When you use your mind properly, though?
You face the problem.
You deal with it – maybe temporarily, maybe for good, but either way you aren’t ignoring it.
Then you grow as a person, just a little bit.
It’s cheaper than most holidays.
Less hassle, too.
A whole lot more good for you… and the sort of thing you can carry with you.
What exactly am I talking about?
I lay it all out here:
I’ve been in ruts before, and I’m sure I’ll be in them again.
That’s fine. I’d rather be in the occasional funk and know I can pull myself out. The alternative is never knowing when the hammer will fall.
And when it falls, it falls hard.
There’s a strange kind of melancholy that comes with feeling trapped like that. Like every day is the same.
Like nothing you do matters.
It’s subtler and less terrible than full-blown depression, which might even make it hard to complain about.
“What you think you have it bad? A vague sense of dissatisfaction? Boo hoo!”
But it’s a bigger problem than most folk give it credit for.
The common advice is to “shake things up”. If you’re in a rut, then make a change – any change.
There’s wisdom to this advice. Something as simple as changing which wall your laptop faces can do the trick.
So give that a go.
It could work.
If it doesn’t… or if it works for a while, then stops… then you need to do this:
You need to shake things up.
But not out there in the physical world. I’m talking in here – shake up your thoughts first and your circumstances will follow.
And even if they don’t changing how you think makes everything seem fresh again.
This is what I did.
And it’s what I’ll do again the next time everything feels stagnate.
I’ll reach inside my mind, find the thoughts that are stuck in loops and give them a nudge.
I’ll take my paradigms and give them a tweak.
And I’ll do what I cover in Monster Mind Edukaré, which you can grab right here:
Imagine a medieval society.
Feudalism, knights on horseback, peasantry, the works.
In such a world, you’d rather be a duke than a beggar. Dukes enjoyed wealth and privilege. Living on the streets wasn’t just a lack of those things, it was downright dangerous.
You’d do well to survive it.
But here’s a situation where you’re better off being the beggar than the duke:
The duke thinks he’s pretty close to the top of the political food chain. Sure, he has to obey the king. And, honestly, he’ll do well to survive that too. But it’s not unusual for a duke to take the throne. In the meantime, he can enjoy all this wealth and power.
What if the beggar has the ear of the king?
I don’t know how this would come to pass. Maybe the beggar becomes a jester? Probably not, but it’s my hypothetical, so run with it.
The beggar has no real wealth, comfort or power.
Yet if the king listens to him, trusts him and respects him, he’s golden.
As long as the beggar can keep that up, the other dukes and whatnot can’t touch them – not without significant risk. They could hire an assassin, I guess, but if the king so much as suspects them…
Anyway, I’m hardly Robert Greene, so why am I talking about a law of power?
Because this is kind of what having a brain is like.
Many people see their consciousness as… well, not quite a king or queen. They don’t have full control over themselves. Their bodies and minds change in unpredictable, uncontrollable ways.
So, yeah, maybe a duke or duchess.
But that overestimates the power you have – by a long shot.
The truth of it is you’re much like a beggar. Your unconscious mind is billions of times the size of your conscious mind. Between tracking all of your sensory input, reading every aspect of your environment, running all your organs and organising all your thoughts, it couldn’t be any smaller than that.
At least it’s a good kingdom with a strong, wise and fair monarch.
And you can approach the powerful leader.
You can endear them to you.
With enough mutual trust, you can even ask favours of them.
This is the one true route to self-mastery: first admitting that you have none, then doing what you can to appeal to what does.
Apart from being billions of times bigger than you, (for a certain definition of “you”,) your unconscious also speaks a different language.
That’s how you can tell yourself to do one thing – like, say, wake up early to exercise – then not do that.
Monarchs have their own plans, it seems.
That’s okay. Learn to speak to your unconscious and you’ll be amazed what you can influence.
That’s the real power of hypnosis: bringing your conscious intentions into your unconscious awareness.
You might never be the king, but at least you can earn their ear.
If you want to learn hypnosis – plus quirky meditation styles, and a few other mind training techniques – here’s the most thorough training you need:
If you’re doing any sort of deep work with your mind – meditation, hypnosis, psychotherapy, shamanic rituals, whatever – then you’re changing at an unconscious level.
But you might wonder what exactly the unconscious mind is?
It’s pretty simple, really.
There’s your conscious mind. That’s everything you’re aware of.
The unconscious mind is the part of you that’s everything else.
Now that we’ve cleared that up…
Okay, okay. It’s not a great explanation. Let’s see if we can do better.
A part of you regulates your body functions. It tells your heart to keep beating, your body to remain at a certain temperature and your muscle to fire in precise sequences. You can’t control these processes consciously. You aren’t even aware of the thoughts that control them.
That’s your unconscious mind.
Then there’s the part of you that controls your emotions. Sure, you can consciously hijack this to an extent. Thinking of someone you love changes your emotions, for example. But you can’t switch off (or on) sadness the way you can lift your arm.
Your emotions come from your unconscious.
You have automatic protection mechanisms. When you touch something hot, your hand recoils as if on its own. If a car speeds towards you, you leap out of the way without thinking. If something appears in front of your face, you blink to shield your eyes.
This is your unconscious.
There are skills and habits you once didn’t know, like walking or driving a car. At first, you couldn’t do it. Then you could do it but it took a lot of (conscious) attention. Then it became so automatic that you didn’t have to think about it.
Once more, your unconscious at work.
These categories don’t even begin to scratch the surface.
Have you ever tried to remember someone – a name, a fact – and “some part of you” forgot it anyway?
When you speak, do you choose each word and inflection?
When someone is angry, isn’t it usually pretty obvious? But what part of you, I wonder, instinctively analyses the emotions of other people?
There is a lot that goes on outside your unconscious awareness. In fact, you’re not aware of a thousandth of a percent of what you think and do.
It would overwhelm you.
Both in terms of volume and variety. The unconscious handles everything from basic biology to complex intuitions.
This is what makes meditation and other mental practices so powerful. It brings some of the unconscious material into your awareness.
And it teaches the rest what you want in life.
Why do you need to teach it? Shouldn’t it know what you want, seeing as how it’s part of you?
Honestly, I don’t know. I’m not sure if anyone knows. Maybe it’s a protection mechanism to keep us from things we think we want. Perhaps it’s because, given the amount it processes, the unconscious mind doesn’t know what to focus on.
All I know is that mind training helps. It will surprise you, if you let it.
The power of your unconscious mind lies at your fingertips. You have so many ways to explore your inner self.
Self-hypnosis might just be the easiest, most reliable and most fun.
Try it. Give yourself time to learn the exercises. Reach out to the part of you that lies invisibly in your mind.